i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
