Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
