I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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