Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just blew my weed a kiss
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
