So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
