office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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