come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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