At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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