Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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