and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?