There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.