Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too

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(905): View more from Toronto

I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls

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(530): View more from California

I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(731): View more from Tennessee

I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

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(954): View more from Florida

The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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(509): View more from Washington

With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again

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(860): View more from Connecticut

next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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(905): View more from Ontario

He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?

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