"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize