similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
