69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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