Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
