Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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