brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I will die if light touches me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
