My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
