Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
