Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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