I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
