I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
