He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
