Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
