And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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