What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
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I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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