yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
