it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
