Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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