so that wasnt chicken after all
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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