I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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