how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
