My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
