She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize