Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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