i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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