she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
