scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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