Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
