you would pick up someone in the library
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
