This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
