and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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