....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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