plz talk dirty to me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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