tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
