he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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