Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
