Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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