When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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