he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
