He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
