why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
