We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
