so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got inside last night via doggy door
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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