the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
