My room smells like vodka and shame
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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