If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
