I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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