finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize