then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
