im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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