i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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