These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
