Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Enjoy the penises
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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