i jhust puked up my retainher.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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