1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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