Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
