So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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