Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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