Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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