how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
