hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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